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How to disappear completely.

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Jul. 11th, 2007 | 03:07 am
Emotion: blankblank

Let's all take a blast from my past, shall we?

Back in the baby days, my assburgers was in quite the peak. I could barely restrain my emotions, and as a result, any friendship i had was either short-lived, or forgotten. I was really alone at that time, and even worse, i almost always *want* to be left alone, because i'd always get pissed at anyone who bothers me while i'm doing some stupid shit, like playing console games.

Now, after years of leaving this bullshit problem untreated, mixed with overwhelming regret that i get everytime i want to be alone, i've grown to become an awfully rowdy attention seeker, most displayed in the odd bowel corners of the internet, arguing about insignificant rubbish that i should rather not mix myself deeper into, and vainly producing artwork, in hopes of gaining as much attention as that certain group of people comprised of illustrators who only specialize on one specific area of drawing, and yet gain celebrity status for some ghostly odd reason.

And that's where the point of this entry comes in -- I need to find a way to be able to restrain myself, and be involved in internet drama as little as possible, without having to resort to crazy shit, such as destroying my broadband modem so that i wouldn't have to succumb to the temptation of arguing for no good reason whatsoever. I need to find a way to actually not chew on words whenever i post drawings, and post more than just one piddly 500x500 pixel garbage, because it seems that all the cool artists are doing it, only posting something minute like "--" or "Fish" in picture descriptions, and posting batches of 3-5 illustration pieces per week/month, to prove that speed, in illustrating, is crucial to gather as much worshippers as possible.

It's sickeningly funny, that the magnitude of this problem, it could actually be comparable to a dying man trying his utter hardest at quitting smoking.

If i keep this up, the lungs, brains, and aorta sitting knee-deep inside my mind will surely be fucked, royally. And that alone would only be the beginning of the flight of stairs that spiral down to ruined lives, hardly even tapping the surface of broken relationships to come.

Fuck you, inferiority complex.

--

In other news, i got back from Brisbane. Not a bad holiday, but it's quite terrible that the vacation had to be offset by lagging schedules and bad planning. Other than that, i had quite the time, loitering in a large alleyway full of shops, and this huge shopping complex reminiscent of a mall i used to go to when i was young.

I was also brave enough, in Movie World, to ride a rollercoaster ride twice and a vertical rocket ride once before i went straight to the airport to hitch a ride back to Melbourne. I quite enjoyed the rides, considering how nervous i was before i went into them... I mean, how was 3-5 Gs worth of vertical push supposed to feel like?

All in all, Brisbane and Gold Coast are nice places to go to. I wouldn't mind going back there, though i'd rather much prefer Sydney.

--

Oh yeah, one last thing -- it's my birthday on july 10th. I'm 1 year closer to death! *ded*

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